


Acerbitas

by eledhwenlin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-01
Updated: 2009-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-05 10:17:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/405310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eledhwenlin/pseuds/eledhwenlin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius comforts Remus after a change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Acerbitas

First there was pain. Excruciating, mind-numbing, soul-eating pain. Then there was nothing - memories and reason fleeing and leaving only the innermost, most animalistic instincts behind. 

During this ordeal Remus generally lost all sense of time and space and, in the first years after his transformation, also consciousness. It happened less often as he grew older and he found that the change went ahead faster and smoother. Now the time he spent as werewolf was also much smoother, with three companions to keep him out of the worst trouble.

Remus didn't remember of course, but a deeply hidden part inside him nodded its approval to the stories he was told afterwards by Sirius and James with Peter rarely more than a bystander, just listening and smiling. 

What he did remember was the change back. Pain again, but of a different kind. Not physically this time, but a deep emotional hurt, as humanity streamed back into his being, like water flowing into a dry river bed as high tide comes. 

A quiet yelp escaped his lips as consciousness won over instinct, bringing remorse and grief about what he'd done - what he'd become. Instantly the warm fur ball lying across him vanished and he was pulled backwards by human arms to be pressed against a firm chest.

"Are you okay?"

Remus could forgive Sirius the silly question, as the warm, purring sound of his voice filled his ears.

Instead of answering he turned around to face Sirius: revelling in the feeling of those arms tightening their hold on him, senselessly lost in the feeling of naked skin on naked skin.. Remus pressed his head into the crease between Sirius' neck and shoulder burying his eyes against warm skin, breathing in deeply Sirius' scent, while the other boy leisurely kissed his neck up from Remus' collarbone to his earlobe before nibbling gently on it, making Remus moan slightly. 

Their hands started moving as if they had a mind of their own; following a routine since long established, exploring new paths to all the places they had found about, searching for new places that made the other moan out loudly in abandon.

James and Peter had learned to leave Remus and Sirius alone after the shift, until they emerged from the Shack. They had barged in on them before, only to leave hurriedly and flushing red (Peter) or laughing and an amused "have fun!" (James).

Sometimes Remus wondered whether their private encounters were really that private, when Peter didn't dare to meet his eyes for a week and avoided his presence as well as one could when one follows Sirius Black's best friend around.

"You think too much."

The whispered statement rang loudly in Remus' ears, bringing him back to the moment, alert to the exact position of Sirius' hands. For some reason Sirius didn't seem to mind that Remus had been deeply in thought during their love-making. Actually he seemed rather amused. Remus supposed he should feel a little bit scared, but at the moment he was completely content to let Sirius take all matters of any importance off his mind save for the earnest business of them both reaching orgasm. 

Remus moaned as Sirius started to plunder his mouth. His tongue stroked Remus' playfully, tickling at the inside of his cheeks and flickered across his teeth, only to draw back and dance across his lips. Sirius planted more kisses on his skin; his neck and throat, before he dipped lower and took Remus' nipple into his mouth. Burying his hands in Sirius' thick hair, Remus drew him closer, wanting to crawl into the other boy-- to become one. 

But Sirius didn't stop. Once more he moved southwards leaving Remus panting heavily as he nibbled on his thighs, seemingly quite happy to ignore his most pressing need.

"Sirius... please..."

Voice raw from the still-lasting effects of the change and hoarse from the intense desire, Remus didn't care whether Sirius thought him a wuss for giving in so early in the game but today he didn't want to play. He wanted to feel.

And Sirius got it. One hand found Remus'. Entwining their fingers, Sirius took pity on him. Remus arched his back as Sirius first licked the top of his penis, then his shaft.

"Sirius..."

He looked down, ready to beg, if he had to. Sirius glanced at him with half-closed eyes, a smile playing around his lips as he kept eye-contact while slowly taking Remus' gland into his mouth. The wet heat almost drove Remus crazy, but the slight suction Sirius applied drove him finally over the edge. 

Remus couldn't hold back for much longer and indicated so. At least he hoped that Sirius understood his rather incoherent moans and sighs. Apparently Sirius knew him that well because a hand started to fondle his balls and he came with a hoarse cry. He could feel Sirius chuckling slightly, but Remus didn't care. He would put up with everything as long as he could bask in the golden glow of his orgasm but he knew that there was more to come. There always was. 

Sirius kissed his way upwards again, transforming Remus into a purring puddle of relaxed teenager. They sometimes joked about how he was a werecat instead of a werewolf, for all the purring he did.

"You all right?"

The question was always the same and Remus found himself nodding without thinking, intent to keep the conversation to a minimum. It was part of their routine - sex was an almost silent affair, the goal being to get as much pleasure as possible. They'd talk later in the warm glow of the aftermath, when neither of them had the energy to keep their usual guarding mechanisms in place.

Sirius was fetching the lube from its hiding place when Remus heard him mutter something. 

"What?"

"Nothing, just looking for my wand."

Wordlessly Remus pointed to the small table at the far side of the room where his friends habitually deposited their clothes and wands when they transformed into their animal forms. Sirius shot the far away table a dirty look before turning back to Remus.

"Do we _really_ need that stupid spell?"

Remus sighed. Sirius every now and then made a move to convince him that the protection spell wasn't necessary. But he wouldn't hear any of it - it was too dangerous, too risky. He didn't know what he might have caught tearing through the Forbidden Forest in his werewolf form. Until he wasn't sure whether he was completely healthy - which he would know after his monthly appointment with Madam Pomfrey in the afternoon - they had to use the spell.

"I know, I know."

Sirius had already the wand in his hand. "Male protecto."

A blue glow flickered around Sirius' penis. Disdainfully he looked down at it, but then he shook his head. "Let's get on with the fun part."

Sirius carefully prepped Remus, prolonging it until he started begging; offering his first-born apparently did the deal. Kissing Remus deeply, Sirius hoisted his legs up and positioned himself. He liked to draw this out, Remus knew. It was such a combination of longing and the slightest bit of pain, yet it felt so good that Remus simultaneously wanted it to end instantly and to never stop. He once told Sirius as much and the other boy just smiling knowingly at him.

Slowly Sirius pushed in. He didn't intend to hurt Remus and took extraordinary care to prevent it. As a result Remus firstly felt giddy because someone cared so much about him, and secondly urged Sirius to go faster, the levels of his arousal coupled with pain-pleasure almost unbearable.

Once buried to the hilt, Sirius stilled. Remus opened his eyes, not knowing when he had closed them, and found Sirius staring at him with an intensity that made him dizzy. No matter how many times Sirius told him, it was only through the tangible part of their relationship that Remus realised that Sirius did indeed love him. 

They clasped hands and Sirius bent down to kiss him. It was a soft, tender kiss but no less intoxicating than their hot, frantic, battle-like kisses. Remus felt dazzled and wanted the moment to never end. At some point Sirius started moving, carefully and slowly at first then quickly descending into a fast, pounding rhythm, slamming in and out with abandon. 

They had to break their kiss eventually as their love-making reached its climax, both of them panting heavily. Remus was the first to go, all the pent-up energy breaking free in one smooth jerk. He tightened around Sirius, the other boy holding painfully still for a while before he collapsed onto Remus, not yet withdrawing.

For a very long moment they just lay there, basking in the warm glow of the aftermath. Unfortunately Sirius soon became too heavy for Remus to bear. With a quiet sigh, he prodded Sirius. Wordlessly he withdraw and rolled over onto his side, looking at Remus with barely open eyes.

Remus knew that it was because of these moments that he lasted. They made him strong and confident enough to make it through the anguish, the self-consciousness and the fear. Sirius gave him that strength. Remus smiled at him as the other boy spoke.

"I have to go."

Remus didn't understand at first and only caught on when Sirius had already crossed the room and was getting dressed.

"It's late already and I have to sneak back in and shower before breakfast. Can't have anyone catch me like this."

His words crushed something inside Remus. Breathing became hard as a myriad of thoughts swirled inside his head. Did Sirius regret being with him? Was he embarrassed because of this? Surely it couldn't be like that, Sirius would never do that, wouldn't do it to _him_. But Sirius was gone before he could form any questions.


End file.
